this week has been too crazy for me.
im so glad its friday. i hope that i can maybe forget about this week. erase it from my memory. get one of those men in black pen things and press a button and poof. blank.

ive decided. today. while at the library by myself. that im gonna quit smoking. im going to stop drinking excessively. and im only going to party when necessary ie. someone's birthday.

so i cant quit smoking straight away cuz i still have a pack left of ciggies. but after this pack im gonna not buy anymore. looking on the bright side this will help my financials. i wont smell like cigarette all the time. i wont have to be so paranoid my parents will find out. on the down side. IF I GET FAT THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY. maybe ill turn to gum... at least they're like 10 times cheaper and ill have minty fresh breath all the time haha

drinking. im not gonna totally quit drinking. thats just stupid. im just not going to drink to get drunk. im going to drink only until i feel good and happy. i never want to reach the stage of when my heads in the toilet bowl or im running towards a rubbish bin ever again.

partying. not once a week. not once every two weeks. maybe not even once a month. special occasions sounds to me like a good compromise. i dont get the kick out of it anymore. its the same places, the same music, the same people. i should go back when i start to miss that same place, that same music and those same people.

i literally have no money anymore. i went to go buy something with my debit card today and it got declined. do you know why? because... i just bought BDO tickets that cost me 200 bux and paid off my last month's credit card. how embarrassing. luckily i used my freshly paid credit card.

i'm still pumped for BDO though. i meannnn the lineup is AMAZING. AMAZING. AMAZING. AMAZING. hopefully im still going to be here for it. although the shanghai rep for blakedawson just emailed my dad today to ask him to tell me to send over my CV, uni marks and HSC marks so he can see whether 'there are any opportunities for me'. so thats pretty exciting although that means i have to write a cover letter and update my CV early next week. and with so many assessments around the corner im just so swamped with everything.
but hopefully that means i MIGHT be able to go back to china beginning of this year and work! how exciting. im excited. living by myself in shanghai for a whole month would be amazingly fun. and obviously since mickey and stuff are all gonna be there itll be even more EPIC. but lets not get our hopes up.

although once again.. ill not be spending summer in Australia. i seriously dont remember the last time i spent a full summer in australia. probably the summer of 2007. i miss aussie summers actually not really if the weather's gonna keep acting up like it has so far. ridiculous weather.

so i should really get back to my assignment. i had something else to write... UMMMMMM... oh yeah. just wanted to write something about always wanting to work in a major big city. not saying sydney isnt major.. but well.. it isnt compared to asia haha. so hopefully if all goes well ill be cruising around shanghai all dressed up (although it will be cold.....) and then going to high class bars sipping on cocktails with all the other suits, spending weekends in cafes then going shopping then having massive dinners at yummy restaurants. THATS THE LIFE :) chuck in some extra cash and an excellent apartment on the 32nd floor and ill be sweet.

one day.


if you need me. call me. no matter where you are. no matter how far. ill be there in hurry. you dont have to worry.
remember the day, i set you free? i told you you could always count on me baby. from that day on i took a vow, i'll be there when you want me, some way, some how.