maybe my insecurities are unfounded
but its completely futile to say to someone 'dont think like that' and just automatically think that they will do what you say.
naive much?

i dont think my life is very complicated. i dont think im a very complicated person.
all i want is good grades. a steady relationship. a VERY GOOD career. marriage. kids.
i just want my life to go down the straightest paths that life can possibly go through.
i dont want forks in the road. and i dont want rivers i have to try to get across.

but somehow i cant find that straightness. and the more i think about it the more complicated i think i am. the way i think. the way i act. the way i feel. the way i show my emotions are probably the reasons why my life is all twisty.

so we've already established the fact that i suck at letting people into my life. i suck at letting down barriers. i suck at showing i care about people. im the best at faking that i dont care about something or someone when i do.

im judgmental. im elitist. i have too many opinions. even though im trying i have yet to completely master learning how to not judge a book by its cover. i hate people who dont try hard in life. i hate people who think that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter. i hate girls who are sluts and dont respect their bodies. i hate guys who think violence is the answer to all of God's problems.
if i didnt think so much into everything and stopped being sucha hater then maybe my life would be straighter too. maybe then ill be more accepting of all the things which at this very moment in my life, i cant.



but
if making my life straight means sacrificing what i believe in. my morals and my ethics. the way ive been brought up. my views on women. my views on men.
then NO THANK YOU.
ill take the curves as they come.