ok
i did nothing again today
i wrote 200 words of a 1000 word essay
200 shitacular words
what did i do?
i downloaded music. i ebayed. i decided to watch friends again. watched masterchef. i went on facebook and did nothing on facebook.
i nearly burnt down my room. i was having a ciggy while my parents were outa nd i thought i butted it out properly and i chucked it in my rubbish bin. turned out i didnt and i started to smell smoke and opened the rubbish bin and all the tissues had started to glow red HAHAHA luckily i have a sensitive nose :)
we found out that another relative of mine passed away yesterday morning. i wasnt very close with her. she was my great aunt i think... my mum's aunty? i dont really rememebr her except that she used to give me money whenever i saw her. oh god how bad is that? i remember her cuz of her money. i seriusly dont even know what she looks like.
anyway... so this year has been a pretty shitty year for my family. so much death. and i know its inevitable and yes they are all getting old but you wish that you could do something about it. my mum doesnt wanna tell my grandad that his own sister has died cuz shes scared its gonna make his health take a turn for the worse.
oh yeah i also waxed a bit today when i was watching masterchef. one arm is silky smooth now hah the other.. not so really
oh and also ive been looking at all the end of year photos for year 12. i bet they're all so glad to be coming outta high school. wait till they reach uni hahaha poor things.. its assessments every week!
tomorrow my internet is coming off. so thats it! or i might go to uts and try to do some work... hmmm... options options
i miss mike already. im gay.
nothing more to say.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
or maybe i should go back to black?
YEAH?
BLACK SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD AT THE MOMENT TO ME :):)
YEAH?
BLACK SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD AT THE MOMENT TO ME :):)
i thought i knew where i was going with my career and stuff but now im not too sure
im all muddled again. i was supposed to do research for my assignment due the tuesday after parklife and i ended up doing nothing but watching friends... frickin going on ebay.
then marks for law have come out and everyone's spewing. cuz law sucks. cuz none of us will ever understand how the people at sydney uni law school marks assignments or how well the other people in our grade are at law.
and now im blog hopping instead of reading the material ive researched which is actually in front of me.
URGH WOMAN WAKE UPPP WAKE UPPP WAKE UPPPP
i need my real hair to grow longer so i can cut off my extensions.
i think im gonna go a shade lighter next time i dye it
and im going back to straightened hair.
and i also need to buy new fricking contacts but i have no idea where to buy the ones i wear in australia. i love my black contacts. asians are the best at knowing how to properly enhance their features.
i remember asking at opsm if they had black contacts and they were kinda like errr nnooo what the? who the hell wears black contacts?
asians do :)
what else do i need to do?
i need to keep losing weight.
stop biting my two remaining nails that are still gnawed to bits.
i need to rebudget my financials ie. stop buying useless things.
cut down on cigarettes which will help rebudget my financials
i need to go to the beta alpha psi meetings which i have never attended and actually get invovled in uni life a bit more.
see? this is why im not turning into the person i wanna be. THIS IS ALL I FUCKING THINK ABOUT NOW
I HAVENT EVEN FINISHED READING MY FATHER'S DREAMS OR THE BLIND ASSASSIN. WHCIH I BOUGHT AGES AGO. and im not one of those girls who will be proud to say look i havnet read a book in 2 months *teeheheheheheheheheh im so cool*. NO I AM NOT LIKE THAT
and remember a few hundred entries back where i said i would take photos of my life.
yeah well as per usual of all my plans in life taht failed too. good job pecy.
im gone in the last one as you can probably tell.
NO WORRIESSSSSSS ill definitely bring my camera with me to parklife. bring on the short shorts and the slutty swimsuits and the hot half naked men and the alcohol. PSYCHED TO THE MAX.
I DO NOT WANT TO GO AND DO FINANCE.
Monday, September 28, 2009
im sorry but iwould just like to say that ebay is one of the best creations in this world.
ive just received this HOT-ASS TIGHTFITTING BLACK STUDDED JACKET. which is fucking hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot. its gonna be my staple jacket now.
and also i would like to say. that if i could wear heels everyday like karla at www.karlascloset.com i totally would. check out her amazing fashion sense. GIVE ME SOME OF THAT
and also ive been looking at my sunnies collection and realised i don thave one anymore
haha i used to have so many sunglasses that i would interchange and all the ones i have now are just either broken or just way to ugly. i hear the faint cries of ebay again...
haha
ive just received this HOT-ASS TIGHTFITTING BLACK STUDDED JACKET. which is fucking hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot. its gonna be my staple jacket now.
and also i would like to say. that if i could wear heels everyday like karla at www.karlascloset.com i totally would. check out her amazing fashion sense. GIVE ME SOME OF THAT
and also ive been looking at my sunnies collection and realised i don thave one anymore
haha i used to have so many sunglasses that i would interchange and all the ones i have now are just either broken or just way to ugly. i hear the faint cries of ebay again...
haha
ive had an awesome weekend!
going out with the girls was mega mega fun. flow was great although must remember next time to go with a few more girls the guy-to-girl ratio is absolutely ridiculous.
arthouse was good too! even though the venue is a bit 'school-hallish' its still quite big and fits quite a lot of people. being tipsy helped a bit too haha
then just chillin gout on sunday and monday. i watched ps i love again. surprisingly this time i wasnt bawlign my eyes out. maybe cuz mikey was there saying stuff like 'i hate this shit'.. yeah i think thats why.
PPPSSSHHHH
ive got nothing to rant about. weird isnt it? usually i have so much to whine and bitch and complain about. but not this time. which strangely enough is making me feel a LITTLE BIT EMPTY. how unhealthy is that?
saw preggars this morning. still the same uncomfortable gut feeling. so like a chicken i ran off and made james shield me. haha im pathetic. NEXT TIME IM GONNA NOT MOVE AND JUST STAND THERE AND SMILE AND IF SHE GIVES ME ATTITUDE.. then ill run off and hide behind james again. hahahahhahaha. if you're still madly in love with the guy then thats between you and him. its the two of you have to sort it out. and if in the end he finds out that he is still in love with you then good. i wish you both well. im not gonna say im gonna be happy if he's still in love with you im just saying thats the way life is. we werent meant to be and you guys were. and i can now honestly say that i care enough to let him be happy with whoever he want to be happy with. because no matter what i still want to be apart of his life. even if we are just mad friends.
BUT if he doesnt love you then let go and let him be happy and you should try to find someone else that will make you happy. because life isnt about not letting go of the past. its about looking forward to the future and what amazing people and amazing experiences you'll find along the way. theres no point in dwelling about what you woulda, coulda, shoulda have done. but think about what you CAN and WILL do.
like ive said before. regret can be one of the worst words to say. ever. so im cutting that outta my vocabulary RIGHT NOW.
ok need to do more research on CREDIT SPREADS. :):):) funfun
going out with the girls was mega mega fun. flow was great although must remember next time to go with a few more girls the guy-to-girl ratio is absolutely ridiculous.
arthouse was good too! even though the venue is a bit 'school-hallish' its still quite big and fits quite a lot of people. being tipsy helped a bit too haha
then just chillin gout on sunday and monday. i watched ps i love again. surprisingly this time i wasnt bawlign my eyes out. maybe cuz mikey was there saying stuff like 'i hate this shit'.. yeah i think thats why.
PPPSSSHHHH
ive got nothing to rant about. weird isnt it? usually i have so much to whine and bitch and complain about. but not this time. which strangely enough is making me feel a LITTLE BIT EMPTY. how unhealthy is that?
saw preggars this morning. still the same uncomfortable gut feeling. so like a chicken i ran off and made james shield me. haha im pathetic. NEXT TIME IM GONNA NOT MOVE AND JUST STAND THERE AND SMILE AND IF SHE GIVES ME ATTITUDE.. then ill run off and hide behind james again. hahahahhahaha. if you're still madly in love with the guy then thats between you and him. its the two of you have to sort it out. and if in the end he finds out that he is still in love with you then good. i wish you both well. im not gonna say im gonna be happy if he's still in love with you im just saying thats the way life is. we werent meant to be and you guys were. and i can now honestly say that i care enough to let him be happy with whoever he want to be happy with. because no matter what i still want to be apart of his life. even if we are just mad friends.
BUT if he doesnt love you then let go and let him be happy and you should try to find someone else that will make you happy. because life isnt about not letting go of the past. its about looking forward to the future and what amazing people and amazing experiences you'll find along the way. theres no point in dwelling about what you woulda, coulda, shoulda have done. but think about what you CAN and WILL do.
like ive said before. regret can be one of the worst words to say. ever. so im cutting that outta my vocabulary RIGHT NOW.
ok need to do more research on CREDIT SPREADS. :):):) funfun
Thursday, September 24, 2009
hey girl....
yeah im talking to you
i dont care who you think you are but stay away from whats mine.
im not a mean girl. im not bitchy. i dont look it. i dont act it.
hence why i dont do well with bitchy girls.
you keep to your side of the line and ill keep to mine. you even inch a toe over the line and you'll be sorry.
because i believe in karma. i dont believe in 'my boys well come and beat the shit out of you' or 'im going to come find you and scrape my fingernails over your face'.
i believe if you fuck with me im gonna end up having a better life than you. im gonna make more money. live in a bigger house. have a gorgeous husband. have gorgeous babies. be a FUCKING SUCCESSFUL CORPORATE WOMAN POWERMACHINE
while you can slave away wherever you'll be by that time. all wrinkly and gross. (ill be getting the lipo and tucks with all my moolah).
yeahhhhhhhh COOL
something to laugh about... this is basically me at my most fragile state at home. all cosy and apart from the 1500+ photos of me on facebook.. i think these ones are the real me.
and yeapppp im a nerd :)
rephrase that... im a proud geek (cuz we all know geeks rule)
yeah im talking to you
i dont care who you think you are but stay away from whats mine.
im not a mean girl. im not bitchy. i dont look it. i dont act it.
hence why i dont do well with bitchy girls.
you keep to your side of the line and ill keep to mine. you even inch a toe over the line and you'll be sorry.
because i believe in karma. i dont believe in 'my boys well come and beat the shit out of you' or 'im going to come find you and scrape my fingernails over your face'.
i believe if you fuck with me im gonna end up having a better life than you. im gonna make more money. live in a bigger house. have a gorgeous husband. have gorgeous babies. be a FUCKING SUCCESSFUL CORPORATE WOMAN POWERMACHINE
while you can slave away wherever you'll be by that time. all wrinkly and gross. (ill be getting the lipo and tucks with all my moolah).
yeahhhhhhhh COOL
something to laugh about... this is basically me at my most fragile state at home. all cosy and apart from the 1500+ photos of me on facebook.. i think these ones are the real me.
and yeapppp im a nerd :)
rephrase that... im a proud geek (cuz we all know geeks rule)
schmell you later!
IM BACK!
finally new internet after all this freakin drma with telstra and optus.
telstra fricken needs people who can speak english!
anyway today something happend at central station that was frickin hilarious.
i was standing on the platform eating a bag of pretzels and waiting for my muzza so we could go home. this asian guy and aussie dude walk past me and the asian guy kept staring at me. the aussie dude was holding a guitar. they got into the train but it was like leaving in like 2 mins or something. the asian dude's just standing there, staring, (take a picture bro.. it frickin lasts longer) and then he grabs the guitar and starts to strum it ... im like trying soooooo hard not to laugh cuz it was pretty funny and i swear he could tell i was laughing cuz he started to laugh too. .. then he strums it a bit louder and then he walks really close to the door and like opens his mouth to start to sing but the doors full close on him HAHA
and while the train was moving he got his phone out and was like making calling gestures.
psychotic boy. pretty funny though.
im completely chilled out. midsem break is upon us woohooo. and even though theres two assignments to do... i dont seem so stressed which is good. :)
im realy liking this new internet too... youtube babyyyyy
just bought this hot shirt off ebay (well tanya bought it for me technically) gonna rock it at parklife! i also bought this studded black jacket which would go really really well with either casual to uni or a throw on when i go out at night!
maybe i should start taking photos of what i buy off ebay or whatevs?
NA FUCK THAT hahaha im soooo not bothered.
caleb hurt my feelings the other day and said i have weird taste in clothes haha and that i only look good when i go out at night. mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean child.
saw a barechested TANNED AS guy walk into nitrogen today. yummayyy. love barechested men. MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM PLEASEEEEEEEEE. DOUBLE SERVINGS PLEEAAASSSEEEE. WHIPPED CREAM PLEASEEEEEE
and omg i got an email from urbanagent about a HOT HOT HOT guy from wildboys afloat performing at bamboo this saturday.
me and tanya were mesmerised in law when i opened the email. like 'tongue-out' mesmerised. GAY GAY why do they have to make it this saturday? when everyone's going arthouse?
anyway soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo what else?
nothing else. life is sweet. weathers sweet. friends are sweet. the boy's sweet.
catchya later alligator!
xx
oh ps. i had the grand angus burger today. not THAT GREAT. goshhh all the fuss... seriously...
finally new internet after all this freakin drma with telstra and optus.
telstra fricken needs people who can speak english!
anyway today something happend at central station that was frickin hilarious.
i was standing on the platform eating a bag of pretzels and waiting for my muzza so we could go home. this asian guy and aussie dude walk past me and the asian guy kept staring at me. the aussie dude was holding a guitar. they got into the train but it was like leaving in like 2 mins or something. the asian dude's just standing there, staring, (take a picture bro.. it frickin lasts longer) and then he grabs the guitar and starts to strum it ... im like trying soooooo hard not to laugh cuz it was pretty funny and i swear he could tell i was laughing cuz he started to laugh too. .. then he strums it a bit louder and then he walks really close to the door and like opens his mouth to start to sing but the doors full close on him HAHA
and while the train was moving he got his phone out and was like making calling gestures.
psychotic boy. pretty funny though.
im completely chilled out. midsem break is upon us woohooo. and even though theres two assignments to do... i dont seem so stressed which is good. :)
im realy liking this new internet too... youtube babyyyyy
just bought this hot shirt off ebay (well tanya bought it for me technically) gonna rock it at parklife! i also bought this studded black jacket which would go really really well with either casual to uni or a throw on when i go out at night!
maybe i should start taking photos of what i buy off ebay or whatevs?
NA FUCK THAT hahaha im soooo not bothered.
caleb hurt my feelings the other day and said i have weird taste in clothes haha and that i only look good when i go out at night. mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean child.
saw a barechested TANNED AS guy walk into nitrogen today. yummayyy. love barechested men. MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM PLEASEEEEEEEEE. DOUBLE SERVINGS PLEEAAASSSEEEE. WHIPPED CREAM PLEASEEEEEE
and omg i got an email from urbanagent about a HOT HOT HOT guy from wildboys afloat performing at bamboo this saturday.
me and tanya were mesmerised in law when i opened the email. like 'tongue-out' mesmerised. GAY GAY why do they have to make it this saturday? when everyone's going arthouse?
anyway soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo what else?
nothing else. life is sweet. weathers sweet. friends are sweet. the boy's sweet.
catchya later alligator!
xx
oh ps. i had the grand angus burger today. not THAT GREAT. goshhh all the fuss... seriously...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
so i laughed myself silly when i got home today and thought about the mixed bag of emotions ive had the past week.
and my solution only comes down to two words.
fuck it.
im too young to care about what happens in the future. im just gonna go with the flow and see where the current takes me.
if this keeps going then maybe something good will come of it and there will be a future.
if it doesnt... if something bad happens... then it was just a learning experience and soemthing that i can look back on in the future and laugh at my own stupidity. laugh at my naivety.
ive already given up on mankind anyway. so how much more hurt can i get from a guy?
COOLLLLL
ps. no more thinking pecy. promise yourself.
and my solution only comes down to two words.
fuck it.
im too young to care about what happens in the future. im just gonna go with the flow and see where the current takes me.
if this keeps going then maybe something good will come of it and there will be a future.
if it doesnt... if something bad happens... then it was just a learning experience and soemthing that i can look back on in the future and laugh at my own stupidity. laugh at my naivety.
ive already given up on mankind anyway. so how much more hurt can i get from a guy?
COOLLLLL
ps. no more thinking pecy. promise yourself.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
because im feeling like this and i shouldnt be
because you make me happy and i love you but we're standing still
i wanna go somewhere and maybe these tears are uncalled for and maybe im being psychotic (i cant even spell atm)
but this IS HOW IM FEELING
i cant give you want you want and i know other people can
maybe its too naive to think that liking someone enough or even being in love is enough
they're just four letter words and they dont mean anything
i dont wanna let you go but i dont want to waste your time
because you make me happy and i love you but we're standing still
i wanna go somewhere and maybe these tears are uncalled for and maybe im being psychotic (i cant even spell atm)
but this IS HOW IM FEELING
i cant give you want you want and i know other people can
maybe its too naive to think that liking someone enough or even being in love is enough
they're just four letter words and they dont mean anything
i dont wanna let you go but i dont want to waste your time
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
im the girl who you never thought you would fall for.
im not the ganger or the slut or the girl whose just mucking around with life.
i have self-respect
i have self-dignity
i have goals
i have aspirations
i could never compete with the girls that you know and usually associate with. the 'easy' ones.
and i dont want to have to ever compete with girls like that.
and even though sometimes i think you'll see me more than just a piece of meat and that you'll see me as the smart and stable one, i also think, in the long run, it wont be enough.
because guys have two brains. and to be honest i dont know which one rules over the other.
so all i can do right now is block everything else out. be myself. and hopefully you'll see me to be much more.
because i am much more. and im proud to be. im proud to know where i wanna go in life and if that makes me boring, then so be it. im proud to know where my priorities lie and im proud that i wanna do well at uni.
because life is so much more than going out every single weekend to flaunt and to seek attention from boys. life is so much more than getting pissed or high.
life's about achievements. love. respect. family. true friends.
and those are the things i want. and those are the things i want you to want too.
im not the ganger or the slut or the girl whose just mucking around with life.
i have self-respect
i have self-dignity
i have goals
i have aspirations
i could never compete with the girls that you know and usually associate with. the 'easy' ones.
and i dont want to have to ever compete with girls like that.
and even though sometimes i think you'll see me more than just a piece of meat and that you'll see me as the smart and stable one, i also think, in the long run, it wont be enough.
because guys have two brains. and to be honest i dont know which one rules over the other.
so all i can do right now is block everything else out. be myself. and hopefully you'll see me to be much more.
because i am much more. and im proud to be. im proud to know where i wanna go in life and if that makes me boring, then so be it. im proud to know where my priorities lie and im proud that i wanna do well at uni.
because life is so much more than going out every single weekend to flaunt and to seek attention from boys. life is so much more than getting pissed or high.
life's about achievements. love. respect. family. true friends.
and those are the things i want. and those are the things i want you to want too.
Monday, September 14, 2009
maybe my insecurities are unfounded
but its completely futile to say to someone 'dont think like that' and just automatically think that they will do what you say.
naive much?
i dont think my life is very complicated. i dont think im a very complicated person.
all i want is good grades. a steady relationship. a VERY GOOD career. marriage. kids.
i just want my life to go down the straightest paths that life can possibly go through.
i dont want forks in the road. and i dont want rivers i have to try to get across.
but somehow i cant find that straightness. and the more i think about it the more complicated i think i am. the way i think. the way i act. the way i feel. the way i show my emotions are probably the reasons why my life is all twisty.
so we've already established the fact that i suck at letting people into my life. i suck at letting down barriers. i suck at showing i care about people. im the best at faking that i dont care about something or someone when i do.
im judgmental. im elitist. i have too many opinions. even though im trying i have yet to completely master learning how to not judge a book by its cover. i hate people who dont try hard in life. i hate people who think that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter. i hate girls who are sluts and dont respect their bodies. i hate guys who think violence is the answer to all of God's problems.
if i didnt think so much into everything and stopped being sucha hater then maybe my life would be straighter too. maybe then ill be more accepting of all the things which at this very moment in my life, i cant.
but
if making my life straight means sacrificing what i believe in. my morals and my ethics. the way ive been brought up. my views on women. my views on men.
then NO THANK YOU.
ill take the curves as they come.
but its completely futile to say to someone 'dont think like that' and just automatically think that they will do what you say.
naive much?
i dont think my life is very complicated. i dont think im a very complicated person.
all i want is good grades. a steady relationship. a VERY GOOD career. marriage. kids.
i just want my life to go down the straightest paths that life can possibly go through.
i dont want forks in the road. and i dont want rivers i have to try to get across.
but somehow i cant find that straightness. and the more i think about it the more complicated i think i am. the way i think. the way i act. the way i feel. the way i show my emotions are probably the reasons why my life is all twisty.
so we've already established the fact that i suck at letting people into my life. i suck at letting down barriers. i suck at showing i care about people. im the best at faking that i dont care about something or someone when i do.
im judgmental. im elitist. i have too many opinions. even though im trying i have yet to completely master learning how to not judge a book by its cover. i hate people who dont try hard in life. i hate people who think that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter. i hate girls who are sluts and dont respect their bodies. i hate guys who think violence is the answer to all of God's problems.
if i didnt think so much into everything and stopped being sucha hater then maybe my life would be straighter too. maybe then ill be more accepting of all the things which at this very moment in my life, i cant.
but
if making my life straight means sacrificing what i believe in. my morals and my ethics. the way ive been brought up. my views on women. my views on men.
then NO THANK YOU.
ill take the curves as they come.
Monday, September 7, 2009
omg
i hate my life
i love caleb and mickey. they are totally awesome
ok
yeah
i still hate my life
i hate my life
i love caleb and mickey. they are totally awesome
ok
yeah
i still hate my life
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
do you know what the worst type of breakups are?
the one where one party leaves the other not because he slept with some other slut or because she's bored of him but because one party cares too much about the other party and being with the other party would just cause that other party more pain.
OK
so that was confsing
A and B. in a relationship. B's family doesnt approve of A (ttally hypothetical) and B constantly fights with her family. A, seeing the pain he's causing decides to leave B, not because he doesnt love her anymore... no no no... B leaves A cuz he loves her TOO much and cares for her TOO much to see her suffer.
along comes C. B thinks he might like C. but hold on... didnt he just leave A cuz he loved her TOO much. so whats he gonna give C?
haha. wouldnt it suck to be C?
the one where one party leaves the other not because he slept with some other slut or because she's bored of him but because one party cares too much about the other party and being with the other party would just cause that other party more pain.
OK
so that was confsing
A and B. in a relationship. B's family doesnt approve of A (ttally hypothetical) and B constantly fights with her family. A, seeing the pain he's causing decides to leave B, not because he doesnt love her anymore... no no no... B leaves A cuz he loves her TOO much and cares for her TOO much to see her suffer.
along comes C. B thinks he might like C. but hold on... didnt he just leave A cuz he loved her TOO much. so whats he gonna give C?
haha. wouldnt it suck to be C?