when do we say the things we feel?

how do you say i love. or i miss you. or thank you for everything you've done.

im asking a rhetorical question here because i know for many many people out there those words come out easy. whether its to friends, family, significant others.

but for person like me i dont really say those words often. its not because i dont feel that way. hell ive got the emotions of a menopausal 50 year old. its just i kinda get the courage to say it and then the words get stuck in my throat and my brain kinda forces them back down into the pits of jelly abyss aka my stomach. and now its become such a habit that i cant shake it off.

so basically ive dug myself into this deep hole of not being able to show any signs of affection that i cant crawl my way up anymore. and i dont wanna be in that hole anymore.

so tell me. when is it ok to say the things we feel?

anyway. im packed and ready for my 915 flight. my trip is going to be ridiculous. 11 hour flight to shanghai. arriving at 6pm china time. 11pm train from shanghai to xuzhuo which arrives there at 3am. so basically ill be traveling from 6:15am when the cab gets here till 3am the following morning. :) FUN
im only going for a week and shall be back the following saturday. so yeah

this trip's gonna be fun. im fucking pumped to the max.

life sucks. the moment we're born we start dying.
seriously
fuck
that