do you think it matters how much other people think of you?
i'm sure all these girls and guys maybe say all this shit about not caring but inside they're probably one of the ones who care the most about how they are percieved in the eyes of others.
i for one care a fucking shitload of what people think about me.
not so much random people or people who dont know me well.
but when it comes to friends, comments where my intelligence is insulted and my decisions are made to sound stupid sends me up the wall.
do YOU not think that 19 y/o, soon to be 20, me can make my own decisions and take responsibilty for them? do you not think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, everything that you've told me has already played out 10 million times in my own head? hence making me think about it 10 million times?
im a smart girl. and im fucking proud of it. i work hard to get where i am. sure i have lapses of judgment sometimes but i end up back right back on track. im always going to be that nerdy, smart, smoking, anti-drug, anti-bird, loud, "confident" girl who will in this man's world climb up that corporate ladder and use my beastly hands to smash down that glass ceiling.
so dont tell me im gonna venture off that track because at this very moment that is the only thing in my life that i know for sure. sure life is volatile. boys come and go. friends come and go. jobs come and go. but this is. not this.
when someone tells you that they care for you i try my hardest to believe it. but when their actions and words come out harsh or exaggerated when they're giving out advice then sometimes the "caring" bit shoots past me.
you care for me? show me

so maybe i think too much and get stressed too much. and maybe im just a little insecure about myself. but i love the way i am. you better love the fact that i dont burden you with all this bullshit that i write here.

im sorry but i must jet. i have still around 200 pages of law notes to read :)
yay for being a law student.
actually... that wasnt sarcasm. i love being a law student




minus the readings

love