too much play and no work or no anything is shit bad for your body too
my nose is going haywire on me. so im sitting here with my hot cup of hot water. haha how stupid does that sound? anyway sitting here with my cup of hot disgusting water 2 layers of jackets which my mum thinks is not enough and the air con on full blast and im thinking about tomorrow and the day after and the day after and next week, next month, next year and next 5 years.
truthfully my head gets to next week and im blank. it doesnt comprehend what happens after that.
so my mum got angry at me the other day because she said that she thinks i have no purpose in life. that i have no goal. she says that i should be planning about future right now at this very moment because supposedly uni goes by in a flash.
i know what i want to do, graduate, work at some hotshot investment firm for 2 years, go to either america or the uk to do my masters, hopefully get a job in america or the uk, stick in a long working stay in beijing or shanghai. and somewhere down the track get married (urgh) and have kids (urgh) haha wouldnt i be the perfect life partner? ill get bored the day after the wedding hahahahahahaha

thats it. thats my goal in life. at least tahts what my nearly sick brain is telling me now. but to tell me to start planning that now? i cant do it. how am i supposed to plan something as big as that? ok soooo im supposed to research into what unis i wanna go to overseas for my masters. what they want in their international masters students. how the fuck am i supposed to find that out?

i cant even talk about after undergrad... WHEN I HAVENT EVEN PLANNED UNDERGRAD!
i have to do exchange... hopefully next year :) fingers crossed. i dont wanna do it when everyone is turning 21 thats for sure. and then thailand at the end of this year needs major planning. so does taiwan.
then trying to get more into uni life. which seems a little obscure to me at the moment. uni life what uni life?! so that means i wanna spend one semester living on campus.

so i have to plan all that before i plan what im doing after uni. jusstttt sllooowwww down already!!! i CANNOT keep up.

the past. is history. dont even think about it. dont rely on it. dont dwell on it. dont yearn for it. as much as we all dream there was some time machine to take us back how many years ago, hours ago, or even minutes ago. there isnt one. deal with it. and move on.
oh cheer up! its not THAT bad letting go

the present. cold. blocked nose. hot water. runny makeup. batman returns. still thinking about the past hahahaahah (sorryyy)

the future. I HAVE NO CLUE.



all i know is im getting my hair cut tomorrow :) finally bitch.



'whatever'. how much more colder can it get? not much aye? hope zilch. yet im still holding on...
blooddyyy helll!!!!!!!! maybe if it were someone in australia then i would shut up and piss off. but.... she's not even in australia........................................................................................................





HELP ME OUT! I DONT GET ITTTTTTTTTTT

sworn off alcohol.
i am the worlds most embarrassingest shit.
i am ashamed to know myself its not even funny.
:(:(
why does alcohol suck so much?
its your best friend and your worst enemy.